September 4th, 2018
Well, hello there. It is day 3 of my blogging every single day challenge. I have to admit today was weird, I almost thought this would be the shortest post I’ll ever write.
When the day does not start right
You know what they say about the importance of a good start of the day? Wake up early, greet the sun, have a healthy breakfast? That is exactly the opposite of how my day started. I slept through the alarm, something that never happens to me. When I finally woke up, I realized I could barely stand up. I actually had a fever, as my cold seems to be a pretty stubborn one. I had a call, so I tried to push myself to get up. After a long half hour in the bathroom, I got to the kitchen hoping to make a nice smoothie, only to realize I had forgotten to buy bananas, my awesome cashew milk had gone bad, so I couldn’t make my smoothie. I ended up eating 2 peaches and a slice of bread with cheese (don’t try this at home).
I took some ibuprofen to make my fever go away, applied a bit of makeup, put on my bra and a nice shirt (and PJ pants, because yay freelancer life) and I got ready for my call. The call should have started at 10 a.m. and by 10.20 the client was still not online. At this point, I decided to check my e-mail (I know, don’t say it) only to see he had written the previous night to cancel our call. Annoyed and energized by the “amazing” breakfast and the ibuprofen, I decided to go grocery shopping to get the ingredients for tomorrow’s breakfast. I then lay in bed almost all day watching Hawaii Five-0 and hoping the fever wouldn’t come back.
When dreams come true… and cause you anxiety
A few posts back, in my post about the cons of working from home, I told you that my dream to become a digital nomad would soon come true. In October I’m gonna live in Barcelona with a group of 20 digital nomads. And today, I finally got the e-mail that I need to make the final payment, so it’s all set in stone (canceling at this point would be pretty hard as full refunds aren’t available). Hurray!! Right? Umm…maybe not. Here’s the thing. I suffer from anxiety. It’s a thing. I usually keep it under control. But sometimes it almost controls me. Like this time. Instead of being happy about it, after all, I registered to go, it’s been my dream for years, I become all scared and my head becomes filled with “what ifs”.
- What if I don’t like these people?
- I’m gonna be sharing a room with another girl, what if we don’t get along?
- What if we have totally different sleep schedules and I end up being unable to work all month?
- What if I get sick while I’m abroad?
- Will it really be all I dreamt it would be or will I just be wasting my money?
- I could invest that money in much better things!
Isn’t this just sad? And a tad bit stupid? Who gets anxious when their dreams come true?
I posted about this in a Facebook group a while back, so I know from the responses I got, I’m far from being alone. Why do we let our brains focus so much on the negative things? And how do we get back on the good track, how do we see the things that made us dream about this thing we now fear?
When anxiety hits, ask this
- What if I like these people?
- What if I meet people that will be my friends for a lifetime?
- Or what if I’ll break the barriers I’ve created for myself these past years?
- What if I’ll learn new things?
- What if I’ll collaborate with people on my dream business & feel like the money I invested in the trip is money invested in my business?
Anxiety is hard. It’s not something that will go away just because you wish it. It’s a long-term job. Setting your focus on the right things will help to a certain extent. Another thing that helps me deal with my anxiety is to ask myself ‘Why am I feeling anxious about this situation?’ For example, in my case, I’ve had some bad experience in college in the student dorms with one roommate in particular. I won’t write the whole story, but the point is, it was bad, I had to move mid-year, and I have second thoughts about having a roommate ever since. It doesn’t matter that I’ve had other roommates who were great. For me that one bad experience was bad enough that it triggers me whenever I hear the word roommate.
Again, if this is your case as well and your anxiety comes from a past experience, try focusing on the things that demystify it. I like to remember my good roommates, or even call one of them or go out for a drink. There’s no one size fits all, of course, but there are ways to beat anxiety. This being said, I’ll definitely be in Barcelona in October, so stay tuned if you wanna know how it goes. See you tomorrow in day 4 of my challenge!